And the winner is...
A. Dumb Rich Hypocrite with a whopping 30% of the vote. Guess this shouldn't have been a big surprise. All in all, not a bad little election. With all this talk about mandates, I think there are a few that stick out...
The rich can now make even more money. After all, if they made it in the free market, they must deserve it. Hmm... Does that make Bill Gates 1,000 times more deserving than the average American?
Businesses needs no longer worry about minor details like reality when fashioning financial reports. Only dirty, money-grubbing lawyers would ever let those sort of things matter.
Wars abroad sure beat real problems at home. Compare starving slum-dwellers with crazed third-world dictators. There's just no comparison...
Guns aren't a problem in America. Obviously the Washington D.C. sniper is just another example of what a decline in family values coupled with unrestricted immigration will do.
Education? Well the problem with education is accountability. If we just make our teachers take more tests, we can put a good teacher in every classroom. Or move everybody to charter schools.
What, you don't support everything we do or say? Well you must just be another godless unpatriotic liberal. The kind who's to scared to go out and fight? What, me fight in Vietnam? Well I was busy...
In short, the forces of stupidity, greed, and hypocrisy scored a
stunning upset yesterday. Stunning because it hasn't happened
sooner.
My advice to the Republicans: Take it easy guys. Bankrupting the nation and starting a world war is complicated enough. No need to start rewriting the constitution or anything like that. Yeah I know the 1st amendment's a drag sometimes, but it's only a small price to pay for the 2nd.
My comments to the Democrats: well you've done such an incredible job, you've managed to buck a 68 year trend of midterm gains for the opposition party. I know you guys did your best, and there are even a few of you I respect, but if you're just going to try to play nice, let the Republicans steal your issues, and tiptoe so as not to say anything offensive to Shrub, then you're gonna get burned. People will just see you as cheap imitation Republicans, and they know they just go and have the real thing. Don't feel too bad though. With nuclear war in East Asia and a global depression just around the corner, there are bigger things afoot than squabbles.
And just remember: in a Democracy you get the leaders you deserve. Aw... Makes me so proud to be a... Doh. Don't tell I said that. Please? I'd be so embarassed if they found out. I mean a few people actually thought I was bright, long time ago, and I'd hate to spoil the notion by telling them I'm American.
